Movie Time

Alex looked around the cell, scrubbing a hand through his dark, shaggy hair, the other three men looking back at him smiling sheepishly. I can’t believe I let myself get in with these idiots.

“Alex, I’m really sorry…” Stephen started to say, but Alex raised his hand, cutting him off.

“If you talk again, I’m more than a little confident that I will reach across the cell and choke the life out of your body Stephen,” Alex replied, trying to keep his voice from rising and screaming at him.

“Boomer, Alex. My name is Boomer.” Stephen’s very bad British accent grated on Alex’s nerves.

“YOUR NAME IS STEPHEN! You are not Basher, or Left-Ear, or any of these other characters that you’ve seen in the movies! You’re not Mos Def or Don Cheadle! You’re a white guy from NEW JERSEY!” Alex’s chest was heaving from this bout of shouting, not his first one, probably not the last bout either.

“Hey! Calm down in there convicts!” The guard shouted from down the hall, not bothering to even come down and yell at them unless he heard them killing each other.

“Alex, it’s not all his fault you know,” David stood up, walking over to his friend, trying to calm him down.

“Not his fault? It’s completely his fault! If you had stopped him from watching Ocean’s 11 and The Italian Job like I told you to, we wouldn’t be here right now,” Alex just managed not to shout at his old friend.

“Don’t you think that’s a little unfair Alex?” Daniel had decided to join the conversation.

“No, Daniel, I don’t think that’s unfair. You were there, you remember what happened. Not like this was ten years ago. It was last night!” Alex sighed, dropping his head into his hands.

*

Alex sat in his apartment, watching the New York Football Giants lose to the Dallas Cowboys. The phone was ringing in the background, but he refused to answer it. The four messages on his answering machine didn’t make him want to pick up the phone.

“Alex, it’s David. I know you’re there and that you can here this. I’m out in Beverly Hills and I’ve got some work for us. Give me a call as soon as you here this. My number is …” Alex blanked out the number, having no desire to call his old friend back. He knew what kind of work David was referring to and had been hoping to avoid resorting to that kind of “employment.”

Another hour of watching the Giants lose, and the phone rang again, this time Alex decided to answer it, the stack of bills next to the phone finally managing to sway his convictions.

“Alex, glad to finally catch you. I was thinking I might have some work right up your alley.” David was his usual jovial self, always smiling, always making everything into a joke.

“Well I appreciate that David. I’m sure you know that I’ve been having a hard time finding work out here in New York. What kind of work did you have in mind?” He already knew, but this little song and dance was something they went through every time David called him with another “job” opportunity.

“It’s not something I feel really comfortable talking about over the phone Alex. Why don’t you take a flight out here and we can see the sights, talk some business, maybe find ourselves a couple of pretty young ladies looking to have a good time. It’ll be like Vegas, only without the cross-dresser.”

“I don’t know David, I have a feeling that this will end up exactly like Vegas.” Alex walked around his apartment, phone in hand, already grabbing a few things to throw in a suitcase while they talked. He always said no at first, and he always said yes in the end.

“I’m sending you out some tickets Alex. They’ll be there tomorrow. Good seats, first class. Come on out, you can see the family, Stephen’s back in town, and we can have some laughs. No pressure. Promise.” Alex sighed, shaking his head at nobody in particular, then nodded it, also at nobody in particular.

“Alright David. I’ll come out. But if this ends up with either one of us in drag again, I’m never speaking to you again.”

*

“Daniel, take that dress off!” Alex shouted, raising his head for a moment, before dropping it back down into his hands.

“Umm, I don’t have anything else to wear Alex,” Daniel mumbled, looking to David and Stephen for some support. They both just shrugged and laughed a little.

“Well you should have thought of that before you let yourself be talked into wearing it. That would have been a good idea, eh genius boy?” Alex didn’t even bother to raise his head for this round of berating, knowing it would just make Daniel cry if he had to look him in the eye.

“C’mon Alex, at least it was fun getting here,” David tried to put a good spin on what was happening here. Alex did raise his head to look him in the eye, hoping to make him cry. Not that David ever cried.

“Ok, so maybe it wasn’t all that fun, but you did get to see my mother again, and she did miss you.” Alex’s head found his hands again. He thought about crying.

*

The flight out to California was first class all the way, and Alex was a bit tipsy when he got off the plane. Dealing with David and his job offers was always easier with a little bit of a buzz.

“Alex, so good of you to make it. I take it the flight was good?” David came out of nowhere from the crowd and took Alex’s bags, Stephen on the other side of him, grinning that stupid grin of his.

“It was great, thanks for the seats. So where are we headed?” Alex watched David look at Stephen and then back to himself.

“Beverly Hills.” David quickly switched Alex’s bag from one hand to the other as his friend went to snatch it back.

“Are you crazy? Beverly Hills? People spend more on their cars then I spent on my house, and then they spend even more on the security to keep it all safe.” Alex made another grab for his bag, but David still managed to keep it away from him, still moving out towards the parking deck.

“You worry too much Alex. We’re not going to bother any of the nice citizens of Beverly Hills at their homes…” Alex breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing a little bit. “We’re going to go and bother Harry Winston Jewelers.” David quickened his step, taking him just ahead of Alex and closer to the parking deck.

“WHAT!? David, are you completely out of your mind? Harry Winston? Do you know what will happen to us if we get caught?” Alex was trying not to scream. Screaming in airports got you cavity searches, but it was getting real hard.

“That’s why we won’t let ourselves get caught. Feel better about it now?” Stephen laughed at David’s comment, moving to unlock the car and open the trunk for Alex’s bag.

“Geez, why didn’t you just say that in the beginning? I’d feel so much better about the fact that we’re going to prison.” Sarcasm had always been Alex’s friend, and they were quickly becoming reacquainted around David and Stephen.

“You’re always so pessimistic Alex. Trust David, he’s never let you down yet has he?” Stephen took Alex’s bag from David, tossing it in the trunk.

“Stephen…” Alex turned to the younger man, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

“Actually, I go by Boomer now.”

“Boomer?”

“Boomer.”

“David, I told you he wasn’t allowed to watch Ocean’s 11 anymore. And stop with the stupid British accent Stephen, you’re from New Jersey.” Alex brushed past Stephen and David to get in the car, claiming shotgun like it was his birth-right.

The drive to their hotel in Beverly Hills was quiet and awkward, reminding Alex of his junior prom. The hotel room was nice: two bedrooms, three beds, a pull-out sofa, small kitchenette. It was more than enough for the three of them, but then, when they stepped inside, they were no longer three.

“Daniel, it’s been a while. Your mother still dressing you?” Alex tried to hide the contempt from his voice. He hated Momma’s Boys.

“Mother tries to make sure I’m presentable. You know I’d be a wreck if I was left to my own devices,” Daniel tried to put some bass in his voice, but it just wasn’t in him as he dry washed his hands on the front of his pressed chinos.

“Right, you’re a wuss. Got it.” Alex turned back to David and Stephen. “I’m taking a nap, and when I wake up, we’re going to discuss exactly what you think we’re going to be doing.” Before they could even answer, Alex had snatched up his bag and gone into the bedroom with the single bed, closed the door, and flopped into the bed, asleep not even five minutes later.

*

“Hey, convicts, your lawyer is here.” The guard banged his stick against the bars, trying to act like Denzel Washington even when he looked like Don Knotts.

“Lawyer?” Alex looked at David and Stephen, both of whom shrugged back at him.

“Hello Daniel. I see you’re still hanging out with the same bad element.” That voice, the condescending one that every boy knows until he makes his mother know that he’s not six years old again. Unless of course that boy was Daniel.

“Hello Mother.” Alex and David both groaned, David joining Alex on the small bench, dropping his head into his hands as well.

“Daniel, how many times have I told you that hanging out with these hooligans was going to end with you in jail? You’re far too smart to be trying to steal diamonds for a living.” Daniel’s mother crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot in that special way that only a mother can manage.

“I know Mother, I’m too smart to be hanging out with these hooligans, but is there any chance that you could bail us out of here, and that we could discuss this at home?” Daniel walked towards the bars, sticking one arm through, trying to take her hand in his.

“Yes well, this time you’re on your own Daniel. I’m done trying to keep you out of trouble. I just wanted to come and let you know that. Good-bye son.” She turned and walked out, head held high, her steps quick and somehow conveying her unhappiness.

“We’re so screwed.” Daniel’s head banged against the bars, his arm still stuck through.

*

The nap did nothing to make Alex feel better about the conversation that he knew was only going to give him a few more grey hairs. A shower and shave found him sitting on the couch, Daniel, David, and Stephen standing in front of him like they were about to present a new product to potential investors.

“The job itself will be easy. Daniel and myself will go in before hand as a couple looking to purchase some jewelry. Of course Daniel will have on a camera so that we can map the place out, and once we have that video, we can plan the best way to get in. It’ll be real easy, in and out so quick they’ll never even know we were there until we’re half way to Mexico.” David smiled, so self-assured. He knew this plan was fool-proof.

“A couple? I know this is California, but I’m not sure anybody is going to buy you two as a gay couple,” Alex smiled, pretty sure he knew where this was about to go.

“Well, Daniel’s going to have to wear a dress. We couldn’t find one that would fit me. Besides, the one we did find will bring out those baby blues of his.” David nudged Daniel, chuckling.

“Thanks David, really appreciate that.” Daniel managed a smile, obviously uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a dress.

“It’s so nice to be working with proper villains again.” Everybody looked to Stephen.

“No more Ocean’s 11 for you, and that’s final.”

*

“You really do look terrible in that dress Daniel. David lied to you, it does nothing for your eyes.” Alex tried not to laugh at the younger man, a bit of smeared lipstick making him look more like a clown than a man in drag.

“Yeah well, me in a dress isn’t the reason we’re in here, now is it Stephen?”

“Boomer guys, it’s Boomer.” Again he managed to whine with a very bad British accent.

“SHUT UP STEPHEN!” Alex, Daniel, and David all yelled at the same time.

*

The recon went fine, though they had to stick Daniel in flats unless they wanted him to break an ankle. Three hours later and a sprained ankle despite the flats and they had the video they needed.

“We’ve got to do this quick. Like tonight quick.” David was looking over the video with Daniel, shaking his head a bit.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit soon? We’ve got to plan more, make sure we have all the angles covered. We don’t do this right and we’re going to prison. I don’t like prison, and you might not be, but I’m much too pretty to be some large man’s bitch.” Alex stood up and moved over to Daniel and David.

“You worry too much, you know that mate?” Stephen was sipping some tea, a crumpet he found somewhere on a small plate.

“SHUT UP STEPHEN!” Alex yelled at him almost without thinking.

“It’ll be easy Alex. Stephen, you, and I will go in through the roof, while Daniel is outside making sure that all the cameras show only what we want them to. If the police find out we’re in there, he’ll let us know before they even get close, and we’ll get out of there. No worries.” David leaned back in his chair, hands going behind his head, green eyes dancing with amusement. So self-assured.

“I’m not going to convince you that this is a bad idea, am I?” Alex shook his head, already knowing the answer.

“Nope, it’s not a bad idea and we’re going to make so much money when we pull this off. It’s Harry Winston Alex. They’ve got more diamonds than anybody in Beverly Hills.”

Alex shook his head again, chuckling because he knew he was about to agree to this no matter how stupid it sounded.

“One peep from the cops and we’re out and in another county. That’s the only way I agree to this.”

“Done. That was easier than I thought it would be. You’re getting soft Alex.” David laughed as he stood up and gave Alex a pat on the back.

“I hate you so much. You know that right?” Alex couldn’t help but laugh himself. He was pretty sure they were going to end up in prison, but at least it was going to be fun getting there.

*

“I still hate you by the way. And you’re very much not getting a Christmas present from me this year.” Alex managed to raise his head from his hands just long enough to shoot David an annoyed look.

“You don’t hate me. If not for me you’d still be in New York watching the Giants and Yankees suck. You should thank me for keeping your life interesting. Besides, you’d miss me if I didn’t call you once in a while.”

“Oh yeah, the same way I miss getting a prostate exam once a year.” Alex’s head found his hands again. They were becoming close friends.

*

The van was parked across the street from the store, Daniel still in his dress for some reason that he couldn’t quite give to the others. Grey being the new black, Alex, David, and Stephen were all dressed in varying shades of grey, repelling harnesses already on, each with rope and a bag full of equipment slung over their shoulders.

“Once we’re inside, we have thirty minutes to get what we can and get out. We don’t take anything that we can’t lift from the sales floor, and we don’t break any glass. Understand Stephen?” David looked right at the younger man, who looked away sheepishly.

“I understand David.”

“Good. Now, once we’re on the roof, Daniel will let us know when to go. We repel down, fill our bags, and climb back out. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby.”

Forty-five minutes later found Alex, David, and Stephen on the roof, Stephen more than a little out of breath.

“Alright, I’m going to open up the skylight, Alex, you find a spot to secure our lines to. And make sure it’s something sturdy, I want to repel, not sky-dive.” David turned, already pulling tools out of his pack to open up the skylight.

Another ten minutes and they had their opening, lines secured, and ready to drop into their own little diamond heaven.

“Alright Daniel, kill the security. I don’t want any pressure sensors, silent alarms, or cameras.” David motioned to Alex and Daniel, letting them know it was safe to repel down.

The three men made it down the ropes without incident, touching down softly, no pressure sensors being tripped. Daniel had managed to do his job rather well. Before them lay a sales floor with so much ice you would think you’d need ice skates just to cross it. Alex couldn’t help but whistle through his teeth.

“There’s enough money here to support a small country for years.” Stephen’s eyes were as big as saucers.

“We’re in Daniel, pull the truck around back. Let us know when it’s time to leave.” David looked to the other two, smiled, and nodded. It was time to go shopping.

The three men went in different directions, each using whatever tricks he knew to get the cases open without breaking the glass. It wasn’t long before they each had very heavy sacks pulling at their backs.

“Alright guys, I think we’ve got more than enough to support ourselves for quite some time. Let’s get back up those ropes and get out of here.” David cinched his bag shut, heading back to the ropes, smiling all the way.

“Hey, what’s in here? I’ll bet this is where they keep the good stuff.” David and Alex turned to look at Stephen, who was standing in front of a very large safe.

“That’s the safe Stephen. The safe that we said we would not be touching.” David waved him over, more than ready to be out and on their way.

“Oh c’mon. I’ll bet I can get it open in two seconds.” Stephen reached around into his bag, quickly pulling out a block that looked like nothing so much as a small, square piece of grey molding clay. He pushed it onto the safe, sticking two cords coming out of his bag into it, then running away and diving behind a desk.

“David, tell me that’s not what I think it…” Alex turned to his friend, and was then pushed into him as the explosion took him off his feet and launched him towards the other wall, with David along for the ride.

The ringing in his ears gave him an idea of how bad it was. The layer of debris on top of him confirmed his suspicions. Alex managed to climb out from under the layers of rubble that had been dropped on him.

“David, you alive?”

“Yeah, I’m alive. Is Stephen? If not, I’m going to kill him.”

“David! Alex! What was that noise?” Daniel came across loud through their ear pieces, somehow having managed not to be destroyed.

“It was Stephen. Who let him have plastic explosives?” David answered, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

“Stephen! Are you alive?!” Alex started making his way towards the last place he remembered seeing Stephen.

“David, the cops are on their way. They’re going to be here any minute now. What do you want me to do?” Daniel was starting to hyper-ventilate.

“Get out of here, we’ll find our own way out. No point in all of us being caught.”

“Stephen! Where are you?! David, I can’t find Stephen.”

“I’m here!” a voice from under a pair of tables drew both men. They quickly managed to dig him out, and then had to fight over who would strangle him first.

“Guys! I didn’t think it would be so bad. It’s never that bad in the movies.”

“You used plastic explosives on a jewel store safe! That’s so far beyond overkill that I don’t know where to start!” Alex shoved David to the side, his hands reaching for Stephens throat.

Sirens surrounded them, and the cops were soon piling into the store, pulling Alex and David off of Stephen before they could kill him. Daniel had been stopped just down the road, and all of them had been thrown in a cell together.

*

“I’m not sure how many times I can say I’m sorry, but I’m sorry.” Stephen squeaked out another apology, flinching against a possible attack.

“Don’t speak Stephen. Don’t even look at me.” Alex still hadn’t managed to lift his head from his hands. They were getting along well, no need to break them up.

“Seriously guys, I’d really like to be called Boomer…”

The guard down the hall didn’t even bother to go down to the cell this time. It was at least the third time that one of them had attacked the weird kid with the bad British accent in the last 24 hours, and since they hadn’t managed to kill him yet, he wasn’t too worried that they would now.